Why Saving Things For Your Kids Is Not a Good Plan...

 Hmmm...  "Saving this for my kids..."

I've heard it soooo many times. 

• Children's paperwork from grade-, middle-, even occasionally high school
  
• Children's artwork, no matter how poorly or well done it is
• Children's stuffed animals
  
• China inherited from parents, aunts/uncles, grandparents
• Jewelry, especially inherited
• Collections - knickknacks, coins, toys, stamps, other theme-related objects
• Antiques and other furniture, handed down from older generations, or not
  
• Hobby equipment, even though the kids don't participate in that hobby
• Memorabilia from trips (collected by you, not them)
• Family (and NON family) photos, of activities, events, and people they don't know and sometimes you don't even know!
• Wedding gowns
  

I'm not going to reinvent the wheel here with an extensive post about the reasons it's not a good idea to keep things for your children, rather than just give them away or sell them, when trying to declutter and downsize your possessions, but I'll give you the bullet points:

Younger generations:

• often/usually value experiences over things
• have different tastes than their parents 
  
• frequently do not have a place to keep or store items.  (Heck--many of them can't even afford to move out on their own due to the costs of rent and the crazy real estate market!)
  
• often value a more minimalist approach to decor and possessions
  

"The reality is that lifestyles have changed. Younger people typically don’t have the time or the inclination to polish silver, hand-wash china or iron linens. They often don’t want heavy, dark wood furniture — and neither do buyers, apparently, as values for old furniture have plunged." (1) (That last statement is clearly debatable, depending on the source...)

Sometimes the desire to pass something down is due to a mistaken sense about its market value (wishful thinking, actually).  According to this article, the following items are hard to sell right now by auction houses and dealers:  silver service, china sets, antique furniture, coin collections, doll collections, oriental rugs, even just big furniture such as armoires and china hutches.

If you really believe something you're storing for posterity has value, take the time to investigate it rather than assume.  "The potential value of possessions can be researched by checking the 'sold' listings on eBay or other auction sites. Another option is to hire a personal property appraiser. Hall suggests getting referrals from an estate planning attorney, and expecting to spend $100 to $350 an hour."(1)

Possibly the most practical and important thing to do is simply ask your children and other family members what, if anything, they are honestly interested in from your collected possessions; and accept at face value, and with respect, their responses.  It is not personal toward you, although it may feel like rejection, because it touches on things that you love and appreciate.

 Trying to pressure or "guilt trip" your heirs into receiving and caring for things they do not want or have interest in will only create anxiety and tension. When you die, they will already be dealing with the pain and probable stress of the loss as well as managing your estate.  Having to declutter decades of unwanted items will most certainly lead to greater stress, expense, and often anger.

On one of my organizing projects, saving things for children and grandchildren was at the forefront often.  We were hitting a wall very early on in the project because both of the children were grown and out of the house, one married with kids, and one still working on college degrees and not yet settled into one place to live.  Both children are more or less minimalist in their lifestyles / home decor.

As we plowed through items one by one, deciding whether or how to eliminate something was often stalled by the intent to give it to one or the other of the kids.  I would ask, "Do you know for sure that s/he is interested in it?"  Often the client did not know, but her own emotional attachment to the item was great.  I prompted her to try to ask the particular child immediately (thank God for text messaging...!).  Sometimes if the client knew the child's schedule would permit a phone call, she'd make a call rather than text. 

 At first this was slow--we'd put aside the item until the response came in.  However, it was remarkable for the client to see how seldom there was truly any attachment on the part of her kids to whatever the item happened to be.  After a while, she began to get a sense without checking, and the process went along more quickly.  It was also a relief for her to have a solid answer, which allowed her to discard things without a sense of guilt or sadness.  This process of asking now, rather than assuming someone's future acceptance or desire for hand-offs, can be applied with children, siblings, and other more extended family, as well as friends.

Please do your children a favor by clarifying early what truly is important to them and dealing with the rest yourself.