2 Categories of Clutterers
One of my favorite authors on the topic of clutter and living clutter-less is Sandra Felton, author of Messie No More and The Messie's Manual, now updated to The New Messie's Manual. Sandra, herself a "reformed messie" [sic] has some useful surveys helping people get clarity about the base reasons for their struggles with clutter.
Sandra has broken down cluttering behaviors into essentially 3 categories: "Saving" clutterers, "Messie" clutterers, and "Time Wasting" clutterers. In summarizing Sandra's categories, I've consolidated them into only two: "Saving" and "Messie" clutterers. I'm also including some anti-clutterers thoughts (ACT), to help you work toward a new mindset for managing possessions.
As was outlined in this post, one part of the problem with "M.E.S.S." is often emotional, and Sandra's breakdown covers a large number of the emotional factors. They will be the focus of this post.
But first, just in case you aren't sure if you qualify as an "official clutterer", Clutterers Anonymous has just the thing! Here is a quick and simple clutterers' quiz. And now, onward...
Clutterer Category I:
"Saver Clutterer" - mainly relates to buying and keeping habits, which may have a base in:
Guilt - feeling wasteful because of discarding something because:
- It still works or "has life in it";
- It was expensive (even though it doesn't work, or you no longer use or even like it...);
- It has perceived or potential "market value" (although you may admittedly never have tried to find out)
- You are tripped up by anthropomorphism, which is the "attribution of human motivation, characteristics, or behavior to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena." Consequently, you may think an object will be "hurt" by your releasing it; e.g. "Poor little thing, it will be lonely...", etc.
- You carry a sense of responsibility for objects once they enter your space, even if they were freebies you weren't looking for! And this is a problem for almost everyone I know!
ACT:
- Everything has a natural life cycle—discard when dead
- Learn environmentally responsible ways to discard them
- Acknowledge sense of responsibility for items, then declutter responsibly
- Maybe you did pay a lot for it…it’s okay; learn from your error and move on;
- Buy fewer items, but better quality
- Things are inanimate—they do not have feelings
- Things will always continue to (try to) come in, but you have control over what you allow
Fear
Uniqueness, causes you to fear ever finding another like it.
Scarcity: fear of not having enough in the future, which in turn leads to
- Overbuying of sales and "bargain" items;
- Buying totally unnecessary items or extras, although realistically you likely will not or can not ever use the quantity you have purchased (this becomes clutter in your space)
- Buying for potential gifts, holidays, posterity;
- Possibly trying to be the supplier of all things to all those in your "sphere"
Audit: a fear that someone is going to require you to produce some object (this usually relates, but is not limited to, paper clutter).
Creative spark myth - some say, messiness is indicative of creativity. In reality, mess interferes with the ability to follow through with creative energy, as much time and money are wasted by the inability to find your tools and the need to "replace" lost items, lack of space to lay out projects, etc.
Comfort blanket -
- Fear of forgetting events / relationships
- Substituting things for companionship, because they are "safe", therefore seeking something from things that they are not meant to provide. I once had a client who, when trying to explain why she had walls full of mostly valueless trinkets and "tchotchkes", turned and looked at me with some exasperation saying, "I guess I'm...I'm looking for love!" Not finding it there, needless to say. 😩
- Clutter doesn’t fix a true shortage, and if not well managed, the excess (clutter) you squirrel away trying to avert the feared event, will likely be lost anyway through expiration, decay of materials, lack of use, etc. There is wisdom in being adequately prepared for the future, but nobody can plan for everything.
- 90% of things and situations people worry about never happen, and if they do, you'll likely survive. Please read Fear Less, by Gavin de Becker!!
- Take photos of memorabilia that isn’t so treasured anymore in order to catalog the memories, then release them in appropriate ways.
- Begin living in the present, planning for the future.
Other "Saver" style elements:
Habit buying, not really thinking about real needs; or allowing impulse purchases without weighing their true value, and without a plan for where they will "live" in your home.
Gratitude/sentimentality, particularly common with gifts received and memorabilia from activities. A fear of offending the gift giver is a fascinating topic from my perspective, as gifts should come to us with no strings attached. If a gift does not suit the receiver or is "outgrown" (literally or figuratively) the receiver should not be or feel obligated to retain it, and if the relationship truly would be harmed by the discard/"re-homing" action, then that relationship really needs some evaluation.
ACT: Relationships that include guilt related to things
are damaged (unhealthy?) relationships; deal with them, and make
space between you and that relationship if need be. Remember that real friendships and healthy loving relationships, are not based on gifts or the loss / release of those gifts.
Creative ideas (especially for useless items). It is so important to honestly assess one's historical follow-through on these ideas and plans, the time available to actually accomplish them, and how long the items have laid around, unused.
Procrastination: e.g., saving energy, building up a pile to "do it all at once later"; avoiding putting things where they belong, "just for now"...
ACT: Doing the necessary tasks in a timely manner, especially the act of putting things in their "home space", helps maintain order, and the cleanup process remains much faster and simpler, instead of becoming overwhelming.
Unwilling to take responsibility for self, wanting others to tell you what to do.
Clutterer Category II:
"Messie Clutterer"
Brain Processes
- Distractions, failing to complete tasks; lack of time sense
- Poor memory; keeping things and paper as reminders of activities, appointments, events, etc.
- Lack
of organization skills; unable to create categories, or making
categories too detailed, which creates unnecessary and inefficient
complexity for tasks and systems.
Human Relations / Self Image issues - examples:
- Sense of self-importance, being a supplier to others so you feel needed
- Desire to push people away, and effectively creating a physical barrier with clutter
- Desire to attract attention, e.g., making you feel unique, maybe "joke material"
- Subconsciously reflecting back to parent/child roles
Other
- Love of the actual objects
- No place to put things, either by failure to establish a storage system/location, or a true lack of storage area
- Rebellion (may be overt or quite subconscious) against a controlling or "neat freak" relative, friend, spouse, etc.
It's essential that one get to the root cause of cluttering behaviors to be able to move away from them. It's not usually a simple answer. However, I have noticed working with clients that the decluttering process itself often facilitates this "discovery process" automatically, whether it is through the ongoing discussions we have about the reasons for keeping things, the repeated release of items, or the trial-and-error process of finding a solution to a particular kind of mess. If you do struggle with cluttering behaviors, may this brief survey of clutterer styles help you understand your own reasons better.
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